Have you ever thought of planning your own send off to take the stress and responsibility away from your loved ones? We all know when the time comes your family and friends will likely find planning your funeral not only stressful but upsetting. May be there is a way of helping them at a difficult time.
Death is something most of us don’t even want to think about let alone discuss. However it will come to us all, we can’t avoid it.
Talking about the content of your own funeral can be a daunting prospect. For some people however it is important to ensure that your ceremony reflects you and your wishes and values.
Have you ever been to a funeral and thought “I wouldn’t want mine to be like that”?
Maybe it has triggered thoughts, ideas and discussions. How you would like your ceremony to be when the time comes? I have had many such conversations with colleagues as well as clients and friends over the years. Often I hear a piece of music and think “That’s a really good choice”. “I love that piece of music and I want it played at my funeral” because it is so relevant to me.
We live busy lives and rarely take a moment to consider how stressful it can be for those left behind. They are left to decide what they think you might have wanted.
We are all getting better at planning for the future so wouldn’t it be great if we had planned the content of our funeral in advance to take the stress away from our family and friends. If you are someone in life that likes things done your way, then give some thought to planning your send off. Ideas come and go, music comes in and out of our head without us taking the time to write these ideas down.
I have had the privilege of planning funeral ceremonies with people whilst they are still alive. That way they have been able to tell me exactly how they want their ceremony. They choose the readings, poems and music and together we craft a ceremony that truly reflects them. It is an absolute honour to do this for people, especially those who are terminally ill.
A dear friend of mine died earlier in 2024. She had been ill for some time. We spoke about what she wanted before she passed away. Due to the advanced ages of her family members she decided not to have a funeral. She didn’t want her loved ones to have to make a log journey especially in the winter. Therefore instead of planning her funeral we planned her memorial service.
It was comforting for her to know her wishes would be carried out. She shared her thoughts and feelings with me. I know which readings and poems I will include when I write the ceremony and what she wanted. This means her family and friends have a choice. They can attend the memorial service or watch it on a live stream. A memorial service will give people time to come to terms with her passing. It will also enable them to make personal tributes, share their memories and remember her and honour her memory.
Earlier last year (2023) one of my best friends asked me to read her eulogy. She knew she was dying and didn’t have long to go. She was a theatrical type and I thought there was nobody who would read it how she would want it. So we discussed (and laughed) about her recording her own eulogy. It was emotional and she said cathartic for her to write her eulogy and record it. It was edited to fit the ceremony perfectly.
The people who attended were comforted hearing her tell her own life story. Sadly the cancer finally won. Thankfully we had the time to plan her send off. It was the most beautiful and moving ceremony because she and I had planned it together. Just the way she wanted it. Many of her friends and family came to me at the wake and said it was the best funeral they had ever attended. She would have loved that.
If this sounds like something you would like to consider please do contact me. www.cypruscelebrant.com or just drop me an email rosie@cypruscelebrant.com. We will talk and see if you would like me to plan your funeral ceremony even if we are in different locations. You could be anywhere in the world so when you are ready, our planning meeting can be over Zoom or WhatsApp at a time to suit you.
As a celebrant I write unique, memorable ceremonies for people. After all we are all unique, so why wouldn’t you want a ceremony written just for you. I will write the ceremony, tell your story, and script the entire funeral or memorial.
In conclusion, if you are thinking about planning your funeral ceremony or memorial service please do contact me. When you choose me to write your ceremony it will be just the way you want it. When your ceremony is complete and you have approved it, I will send it by mail or email. Everything will be ready, and when the time comes all your family have to do is follow your wishes.
Rosie Anstey
